Paradise

"And so lying underneath those stormy skies she'd say, 'Oh I know the sun must set to rise'"

Have you ever been in a funk? Not just a bad mood. Not just a bad day. Not even just a bad week. I am talking about feeling negative, apathetic, blah. Feeling sorry for yourself? Yeah, I've been there. This was no depression. I've been there too. This was different. The past few months I just hadn't quite felt like myself. My optimism was pretty shot. I probably wasn't the most fun person to be around. You see, I let things get to me. I let things that I had no control over, control my thoughts. I worried. I analyzed, and then analyzed again. Why you ask? Well, I mean. Let's just say I took one of those online stress test things a while back and was nearly off the scale for stressful events that have happened/been happening in my life the past couple years. Everyone has stress, yes. Everyone has crappy things happen to them, I get that. It's just, ugh, I had had enough the past couple months.

 Like worrying about Adeline. I have really been worrying about her. Her ear infections. Her asthma. Her behavior. Oh Lord, her behavior. I have been reading website after website, article after article. How to get her to stop hitting? Why is she only having accidents at daycare? Is she getting enough calcium? Enough time outside? Enough time with me? Enough independent play time? Why is she not sleeping through the night?  When in the world did her two year molars start popping through? Am I a helicopter mom? Did she just say "shit!"? Why does time out seem to not work? Is that poop on the bottom of her shoe? How in the world did it get there? Are those moms really giving me the stink-eye at Target? You just wait. There, I said it! 

Or worrying about my house. Is it clean enough? When do I find the time to clean? I need to do laundry. I should fix my hair in the morning more. I need to work out more. I need to tweeze my eyebrows. I should make time to spend with my friends more. I should schedule play dates. I suck at life. How do other moms do it?

And it hasn't just been my little family I have been worrying about. I'm not going to go into too much detail but a big change could be coming for someone in my family who I love very much. And this big change could end up affecting a lot of other family members I love. And while we wait to see if the big change is going to happen or not, we just have to wait. Stay positive. Pray. Try to laugh. Sometimes try to pretend that nothing is going to change.

Something changed this weekend though. I don't know why, or how. It just did. I have this overwhelming sense of gratitude and peace. I have an amazing husband, who, among other things, has been through everything with me. 'Been through' is putting it lightly. Ha. We sometimes laugh about all that has been thrown at us in our first four years of marriage and think, well what else can happen? What else can test our marriage, test our faith, test our strength? When we come though the other side of all of this we are going to be stronger and better for it. And hopefully years 10-80 will be lot easier on us. (I'm really shooting for the easier to start around year 5, ahem, come on October!) 

 

But like I was saying, this weekend I realized everything is really going to be okay. No, really it is. My marriage is the strongest it's ever been, I have an amazing daughter to say the least. I could write an entire post on her amazing-ness alone. I am blessed. I am thankful. I don't need to spend anymore time worrying about things. 

This could be paradise.

Top of the Mornin'

This weekend was our little town's St. Patricks Day parade. Big Daddy and I made this a tradition when Adeline was just a little, little baby. I was really excited to see Adeline's reactions to the parade this year. I mean, the first year she was 4 months old, last year she was pretty into it, but there was no telling how this year would go.

The day started off with a bang. Or a shake really. My mom bought Addie her first shamrock shake to really get into the spirit. Don't worry, I didn't let her drink it all by herself. Also my mom bought her the sparkly green headband. And the flag. She was the cutest parade goer I have ever seen.

Timing is a funny thing with a 2 year old. We wanted to get there early enough to find a spot but late enough to not have a lot of downtime and waiting for things to start. In case you aren't aware, 2 year olds don't typically like to wait, for anything. And my 2 year old is no exception. We tried to distract with picture taking.

It went really well obviously.

I'm really trying to get out from behind the camera more often and be IN pictures with my baby. I just love her.
When sitting in the stroller became boring, a quick change to her cousin's lap was a magic cure. She loves her cousin so much and he is so good with her. And also he doesn't mind when I am taking his picture while he is looking into direct sunlight.
Can't forget to take some shots with my handsome man.When stroller sitting and cousin lap sitting was no longer fun we bribed with food. Addie got her first taste of cinnamon rolls from this little restaurant that has been in our downtown forever. They are heavenly.
Finally the parade started! We were thankful for beautiful weather. And Jeeps that roll onto each other's wheels. And balloons! And little kids doing tricks on bikes. And also the candy that was thrown from floats.
Big Daddy enjoys having his picture taken. I tell him I need lots of practice and he is happy to oblige. Most days.
The headband may have come on and off but the clapping was quite consistent.
In addition to the clapping, there was some candy eating. I figured there wasn't much more damage to be done after the shamrock shake and cinnamon roll.
We were at the end of the parade line and the participants were kind of pooped out by the time they reached us it seemed. Addie was entertained for a good 45 minutes and then. Well, then she wasn't. She kept taking off down this alley behind where we were standing. And also kicking her shoes off as she ran. This is probably when I sort of regretted the nutrition choices I made for her that day. And then it was time to go.

Sun, Sun Mr. Golden Sun

This winter has been such the anti-winter. I know talking about weather is so cliche, but I can hardly stop talking about it, so be prepared. I was a little anxious about what cabin fever would be like with my spirited little girl. Turns out I have no idea what it's like because we haven't gone more than two or three days without playing outside. Global warming for the win!

I scored this little mini power wheels at a consignment sale for 25 bucks. Addie is in love with it. She especially loves hooking up Big Daddy's old little mini wagon and towing little mini things.

One of my favorite parts about playing outside is taking pictures. It doesn't hurt that my subjects are two of my favorite people.

I also snagged this bubble holder thing for 3 bucks at the consignment sale. If Adeline isn't riding her bike or little mini power wheels she is most likely intently blowing bubbles.

I almost forgot to mention her other favorite thing to do outside. She runs up to the top of the "hill" in our front yard and then runs and runs and runs until she crashes into Big Daddy.

Sometimes she takes a little break from all the running, what better place to take a pit-stop then on your Dad right?

Then she runs and runs and runs some more.

And occasionally we can bribe her into some yardwork. Which really just means she grabs a broom and pushes leaves and sticks around.

While part of me really misses the snow and especially the snow days, I am very thankful for the mild weather. And being able to play outside with my favorite people. And also that my summer is starting before Memorial Day instead of after.

Our little helper

Problem: Busy, curious; also super cute toddler all up in my business when trying to do anything in the kitchen.

Solution: Ask Big Daddy to build the imitation learning tower from ana-white.com

Ask and ye shall receive.

Quality control at it's finest.

Snow much fun

The last two winters have been very cold, and very snowy. Like blizzards and snow on the ground from December to March. Last winter was Addie's first official snow because I didn't consider it official until she could play in it. She loved it, she laughed, it was adorable. I anticipated lots of the same this winter. Except, it has only snowed once, and it wasn't even that much snow. Don't you worry, I still bundled Addie up like we were in the Arctic, I figured this might be our only chance this winter. See?

She totally loved it. Obviously.

She was cautiously optimistic. Refusing to actually step in the snow and only sit in the sled and have Big Daddy pull her.

It was still snowing when we went outside and the flakes were big, wet ones. Addie was getting irritated at the snow getting in her eyes. No, really, she kept saying "Ahhh, snow get out mah eye!". Big Daddy being the resourceful man he is grabbed some safety glasses and solved the problem. It was smiles and laughs from then on.

We came inside to warm up and snuggle and talk about snow getting in Addie's eyes for at least the next hour. It was perfect.

I want to ride my Tricycle!

We have been having unseasonably warm weather around here. Not even an inch of measureable snow. It's pretty weird considering the last two winters have been full of snow and blizzards and really cold temperatures. As much as I *kind of* miss the snow, I am thoroughly enjoying being able to take Addie outside most every day. If you have never been around a 2 year old, let me just tell you, they get cabin fever after being indoors for about an hour. Addie is no exception, she needs to run and jump and play outside. Lately though, she has mastered riding her tricycle. This is the only kind of playing she wants to do outside. No more swinging in the backyard. No more sidewalk chalk. This girl only wants to ride her "bike". And she only wants to ride it in the driveway, in continuous circles, for an hour, occasionally demanding we watch her "ride mah biiiiike!". Oh and I don't dare call it a tricycle, because to her it is most definitely a bike. For your viewing pleasure, my future Tour de France participant.

She decided hats are so not cool, she needs to feel the wind in her hair!

These are her typical poses: straight smiling from pure joy, tongue out, going under the bridge aka Big Daddy's legs and telling me to watch her.
Sometimes she stops long enough for me to take a profile shot. And then I can hardly believe how big she has gotten.
So I take a picture of her little hands so I can remember what they looked like when they were small and still a little chubby.

Family Photos

I haven't blogged in 5 months. Don't ask me why, because I don't know. But now that Addie's birthday has happened and I am all nostalgic and where did my baby go, I figure I should maybe try to blog more. To you know, document our life and such. Anyway, my good friend Christina took our family pictures a few weeks ago. She is talented, and amazing. See for yourself.

I know right? More to come. Because also? Big Daddy got me a brand new camera and I have been quite the photo taker lately.